I have thought all year about the Living Hero Concept. Who are my Living Heros. The word "Hero" puts a serious amount of pressure on someone and there are alot of high profile people you could choose from.
For me, the number One Living Hero, has to be the parents that choose to stay home with their children as opposed to using a daycare.
Now, before alot of folks get defensive, I know some people are in situations where they have no choice and I am no hero myself, I worked out of the house and part time when my son was born and did that for over 4 years, my husband and I have now switched roles.
But, thats not what I am talking about. I know a few young families where they have decided to have one of them stay home full time while the other works. They are not the Norm.
I often think times must have been simpler back in the 50's. You got married, husband worked, had some kids, the wife stayed home and thats just the way it was. That was the female role.
Nowadays, its complicated, a "stay at home mom", to most of society, seems to carry little in terms of respect.
You have to get out there and run up the corporate ladder, find a job in a male dominated trade, become a lawyer or a doctor. All these roles carry an automatic level of prestige and respect.
Stay at home mom or dad just goes against the grain.
So, when I meet someone who truly has decided to stay home and raise their own children, they are the ones that are heros in my eyes, because I know they have looked at the big picture, they have shunned societies pressure to "make something of yourself" or keep a level of financial status in hopes of raising a decent human being. They have made the ultimate sacrifice. Make no mistake, it is sacrifice, you give up your freedom, your individuality and the time you could spend on yourself is few and far between.
I recognize how tough it is for a stay at home parent to re-enter the work force. Things change swiftly in a global economy and technology even swifter. After years at home it can be a hard sell to put yourself back in the game. I am not as courageous as those, I kept my foot in the door, so to speak and I feel guilty because of it. I think I will always regret not staying home full time. Hind site is 20/20 and the 4 or 5 years before they go to school really flys by. I truly missed out.
With any sacrifice there is usually reward as the end result. It is that sacrifice I admire and it warms my heart.
So hats off to those Moms and Dads who have made the choice to stay at home. Its the right thing to do in my mind.
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Kingston, Ontario
On the road again, this time its Kingston, Ontario. I have managed to get myself settled in and have found a gym, a grocery store and the waterfront pathway. Time to get creative and find a way to train while I'm here for 3 weeks.
The most interesting thing so far was the cab ride into town.
The cabbie is a long time resident and within the 20 minutes I was with him, he gave me some of the rich history of the town, such as...
It was slated to be the capital of Canada, especially since John A. Macdonald resided here, however, at the time us Canucks were not on such friendly terms with those American types to the south, so clever as we were, we decided to pick a lesser accessible location like Toronto...I mean Ottawa!
Fort Henry was built here just to make sure those Americans didn't get any ideas!
On a more dark and serious side, Kingston is also home to Canada's most notorious penitentiary. Kingston Pen was opened in 1835 and can hold around 500 inmates, each having their own cell. Its where the "worst of the worst " come. The ones who can not function in the usual incarcerated populous.
Infamous inmates date back to the Black Donnellys, Mr. James Donnelly was a resident in the 1800s and more recently housed Clifford Olsen and presently Paul Bernardo. According to the cabbie, Bernardo still stays in solitary confinement for 23 hrs a day with little to no contact.
Unfortunately, his ex-wife, as we all know, was released but seems to have gone on with her life with a new husband, child and living in Europe.
He left me with this, simply because in his mind, we as Canadians seem to forget or want to forget the injustice that is inflicted upon the innocent. If anything good can come from the past is that we remember. We need to remember to prevent history from repeating itself. So that being said, he admits he is still angry about the botched conviction but says he tells the same story to all his fares simply because we should not forget.
Whether you agree with him or not, he is right about keeping the past in your rear view mirror or how else do we change what is ahead.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Asking for Help
People needing people.
I've always coiled away from the concept. You need to be independent, be a rock, figure it out for yourself, research the facts and make your own judgement.
That works fine when you have enough time in the day to accomplish everything you need to do and learn everything you need to know.
The past couple of weeks have been very hectic and mentally exhausting and I found myself asking for help and accepting help.
Turns out it wasn't such a bad thing and I am the wiser for it.
I am not sure what keeps people from leaning on each other.
Probably the urge to feel completely independent, in control at all times. Perhaps its the philosophy... if you what something done right you have to do it yourself...maybe its pride and ego, or sometimes a person feels if others help them they will have people looking for favours from them down the road.
I actually used to work with a guy like that, he never asked or wanted help because, and I quote, "it shows weakness...then others will expect you to help them".
Selfish and short sited view of the world if you ask me.
Anyways, I digress, I believe its important to be self sufficient and be as independent as you can be but also recognize the value of the people around you.
Martial arts is meant to develop the individual. You spend alot of time inside your head figuring things out and only you can make yourself practice,ponder and improve.
That being said, the martial arts organization is meant to provide the individual with guidance through interaction as a group.
Here lies a great resource when we decide to lean on each other.
I'll be the first to admit, I know I am far from perfect and efficient but I also have a hard time asking for any help, inside and outside of the kwoon.
I cut my resources and my potential in half by not stepping out of preconceived notion of myself as one who can handle it all.
Delegating to others, trusting others, accepting guidance and help from others is part of a balanced life.
We are social creatures, we can only excel and thrive when we trust in one another.
Trust is a precious commodity, sometimes given away too freely sometimes never given at all.
But thats another blog all together!
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
I've always coiled away from the concept. You need to be independent, be a rock, figure it out for yourself, research the facts and make your own judgement.
That works fine when you have enough time in the day to accomplish everything you need to do and learn everything you need to know.
The past couple of weeks have been very hectic and mentally exhausting and I found myself asking for help and accepting help.
Turns out it wasn't such a bad thing and I am the wiser for it.
I am not sure what keeps people from leaning on each other.
Probably the urge to feel completely independent, in control at all times. Perhaps its the philosophy... if you what something done right you have to do it yourself...maybe its pride and ego, or sometimes a person feels if others help them they will have people looking for favours from them down the road.
I actually used to work with a guy like that, he never asked or wanted help because, and I quote, "it shows weakness...then others will expect you to help them".
Selfish and short sited view of the world if you ask me.
Anyways, I digress, I believe its important to be self sufficient and be as independent as you can be but also recognize the value of the people around you.
Martial arts is meant to develop the individual. You spend alot of time inside your head figuring things out and only you can make yourself practice,ponder and improve.
That being said, the martial arts organization is meant to provide the individual with guidance through interaction as a group.
Here lies a great resource when we decide to lean on each other.
I'll be the first to admit, I know I am far from perfect and efficient but I also have a hard time asking for any help, inside and outside of the kwoon.
I cut my resources and my potential in half by not stepping out of preconceived notion of myself as one who can handle it all.
Delegating to others, trusting others, accepting guidance and help from others is part of a balanced life.
We are social creatures, we can only excel and thrive when we trust in one another.
Trust is a precious commodity, sometimes given away too freely sometimes never given at all.
But thats another blog all together!
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Saturday, October 31, 2009
8 weeks! Really!
Sifu Brinker gave us a reminder last night, we are running out of time. I have to admit the year has flown by and its hard to believe 2010 is only 8 weeks away.I will have to add up my numbers in my UBBT log and see where I am at.
Round numbers in my head at the moment are 46,000 push ups 40000 abs, 3/4 of the way for mileage and way down on the repetition for a form (just over 200), weight lifting is on par at 3 times a week,sparring and grappling is down as well, however, with the odd Wednesday night practices I feel there is a marked improvement.
I've kept a fairly accurate log for most of the year but there has been weeks where I did not fill it out until the weekend.
In the beginning, opening the log to add numbers was a driving factor, a huge motivator to accomplish something everyday. As the year went on, this gradually changed. Logging is not that important to me(however necessary as part of the UBBT and a useful tool to accomplish specific goals).
What has happened is an ingrained lifestyle change, I look for opportunities everyday to step out of the "norm" , commit acts of kindness, use 30 seconds of meditation to make calm decisions when panic and stress are pressuring down.
The day is not right if I cannot physically exert my self through some kind of training. No logging required, its who I've become.
Pretty cool...
but I have a little time left to crack down and finish big.
On a lighter note, today is Halloween, I can't help but be excited because my son is! He loves giving out the candy at the door almost as much as dressing up as a dinosaur and collecting his own candy.
Its just plain fun!
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Round numbers in my head at the moment are 46,000 push ups 40000 abs, 3/4 of the way for mileage and way down on the repetition for a form (just over 200), weight lifting is on par at 3 times a week,sparring and grappling is down as well, however, with the odd Wednesday night practices I feel there is a marked improvement.
I've kept a fairly accurate log for most of the year but there has been weeks where I did not fill it out until the weekend.
In the beginning, opening the log to add numbers was a driving factor, a huge motivator to accomplish something everyday. As the year went on, this gradually changed. Logging is not that important to me(however necessary as part of the UBBT and a useful tool to accomplish specific goals).
What has happened is an ingrained lifestyle change, I look for opportunities everyday to step out of the "norm" , commit acts of kindness, use 30 seconds of meditation to make calm decisions when panic and stress are pressuring down.
The day is not right if I cannot physically exert my self through some kind of training. No logging required, its who I've become.
Pretty cool...
but I have a little time left to crack down and finish big.
On a lighter note, today is Halloween, I can't help but be excited because my son is! He loves giving out the candy at the door almost as much as dressing up as a dinosaur and collecting his own candy.
Its just plain fun!
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sparring
Last night I started thinking back when I first started sparring. I recall the panic stricken feeling in my stomach when the Sifu yelled "GEAR UP".
It took a while, probably around blue belt before I began to realize my approach to sparring was all wrong.
First, we spar to hone our skills in case self defense becomes an unfortunate but necessary issue. In order to have a chance at defending ourselves successfully we need to practice the possible scenarios that may befall us, when I recognized this , this is the time I changed my perspective on sparring and on my sparring partners.
The most important asset to our training is our peers and earning the trust of our peers. We accomplish this through communication both verbally and with body language. When you trust the person you spar with the doors will open wide up.
You become more relaxed or should I say focused on learning something new as opposed to just trying to get through the next 30 minutes of "free sparring". As a good chess player setting up for new strategies, this can only be accomplished through hours of practice with a variety of opponents.
So, talk to each other, let your partner know what level you are at and something you would like to work on during your time together. Leave your Ego at the door but bring some self-confidence. Be aware of your partners disposition, check in on them occasionally as you spar to make sure they are not becoming withdrawn by your possible over aggression.
The key, is to develop a pillar foundation of trust within your school and sparring mates. This is more self serving then one can realize as it only leads to improvement in your own quest to become the best martial artist that you can be.
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Season of Giving
Last night I changed the oil and filter on my bike, cleaned it up and took the cover out for it. That really signified the beginning of winter for me.
Another good indicator of the changing of the seasons for me, is the fund raising that seems to kick into high gear.
Our neighborhood is extensively full of young families and with that comes the weekly door knock and ring. Work is also a large source for fund raising events and last but certainly not least is the Kwoon.
It would be easy to become annoyed and jaded by everyone looking for something off you but I think a person needs to keep their perspective in check.
Most of us are lucky enough to live in a comfortable lifestyle with extras on the side. we plan our personal goals to include things we want such as education, physical health, vacations, personal improvement and consumer goods. All this is generally done with an abstract or hardline budget in mind(time and money that is). This list should include giving back, both financially and of your own time, as applicable, as each of our own lives will allow.
I try to think ahead, plan for a certain amount of money each year and/or month that I will donate and to whom. A cross section of locally and globally. When I have reached my limit I graciously and politely let the other individuals fund raising know they are on my list but it will have to be next time.
Lastly, I budget my own time to volunteer. When I volunteer I treat it like a job that I am paid to do. Volunteer means you can keep a commitment and represent the activity with passion(conveniently this ties in with personal self-improvement).
So, yeah, I can't give to everything out there but I can give of myself to the best of my ability,... its a matter of commitment and forethought, kind of like everything else we strive to do in our lives to improve who we are and make a difference.
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Another good indicator of the changing of the seasons for me, is the fund raising that seems to kick into high gear.
Our neighborhood is extensively full of young families and with that comes the weekly door knock and ring. Work is also a large source for fund raising events and last but certainly not least is the Kwoon.
It would be easy to become annoyed and jaded by everyone looking for something off you but I think a person needs to keep their perspective in check.
Most of us are lucky enough to live in a comfortable lifestyle with extras on the side. we plan our personal goals to include things we want such as education, physical health, vacations, personal improvement and consumer goods. All this is generally done with an abstract or hardline budget in mind(time and money that is). This list should include giving back, both financially and of your own time, as applicable, as each of our own lives will allow.
I try to think ahead, plan for a certain amount of money each year and/or month that I will donate and to whom. A cross section of locally and globally. When I have reached my limit I graciously and politely let the other individuals fund raising know they are on my list but it will have to be next time.
Lastly, I budget my own time to volunteer. When I volunteer I treat it like a job that I am paid to do. Volunteer means you can keep a commitment and represent the activity with passion(conveniently this ties in with personal self-improvement).
So, yeah, I can't give to everything out there but I can give of myself to the best of my ability,... its a matter of commitment and forethought, kind of like everything else we strive to do in our lives to improve who we are and make a difference.
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
Monday, October 5, 2009
Mental Wellness
This does not run in line with mental awareness but it is just coincidence that the topic is on the table and I have a sideline story.
We went to visit some of my in-laws last weekend. My brother-in-law is usually a happy up beat fellow but for the past year and half he has been dealing with terrible stomach issues. After a battery of tests including ruling out cancer the doctor has been prescribing different medications over and over again.
In a nut shell, it has gone like this..."try this, it takes about six weeks for your body to adjust".
That didn't work so its a combination of some other drug with the same results.
When we were visiting he was on yet another type of drug but only 3 weeks into the dosage so no change yet, however, what has changed is the anti-depressants he is now on. Why??
Well, simply put, the mans spirit is dwindling away. He is tired of feeling sick all the time, tired of feeling like a human guinea pig and frustrated with the system. He has no lust for life right now and I can say he is a different man.
I am not a doctor but something seems wrong with this situation.
Why is the answer to bandaid the problem when to me the root cause is so obvious.
Is this just a prescriptive society . The answer is drugs, more drugs because we don't have the time to deal with the human being.
Perhaps with every diagnosis procedure it should be mandatory to include orientation to the medical system and counselling to assist people with stress brought on by health issues.
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
We went to visit some of my in-laws last weekend. My brother-in-law is usually a happy up beat fellow but for the past year and half he has been dealing with terrible stomach issues. After a battery of tests including ruling out cancer the doctor has been prescribing different medications over and over again.
In a nut shell, it has gone like this..."try this, it takes about six weeks for your body to adjust".
That didn't work so its a combination of some other drug with the same results.
When we were visiting he was on yet another type of drug but only 3 weeks into the dosage so no change yet, however, what has changed is the anti-depressants he is now on. Why??
Well, simply put, the mans spirit is dwindling away. He is tired of feeling sick all the time, tired of feeling like a human guinea pig and frustrated with the system. He has no lust for life right now and I can say he is a different man.
I am not a doctor but something seems wrong with this situation.
Why is the answer to bandaid the problem when to me the root cause is so obvious.
Is this just a prescriptive society . The answer is drugs, more drugs because we don't have the time to deal with the human being.
Perhaps with every diagnosis procedure it should be mandatory to include orientation to the medical system and counselling to assist people with stress brought on by health issues.
JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada
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