Asking for Help

People needing people.

I've always coiled away from the concept. You need to be independent, be a rock, figure it out for yourself, research the facts and make your own judgement.

That works fine when you have enough time in the day to accomplish everything you need to do and learn everything you need to know.

The past couple of weeks have been very hectic and mentally exhausting and I found myself asking for help and accepting help.
Turns out it wasn't such a bad thing and I am the wiser for it.

I am not sure what keeps people from leaning on each other.
Probably the urge to feel completely independent, in control at all times. Perhaps its the philosophy... if you what something done right you have to do it yourself...maybe its pride and ego, or sometimes a person feels if others help them they will have people looking for favours from them down the road.
I actually used to work with a guy like that, he never asked or wanted help because, and I quote, "it shows weakness...then others will expect you to help them".
Selfish and short sited view of the world if you ask me.
Anyways, I digress, I believe its important to be self sufficient and be as independent as you can be but also recognize the value of the people around you.
Martial arts is meant to develop the individual. You spend alot of time inside your head figuring things out and only you can make yourself practice,ponder and improve.
That being said, the martial arts organization is meant to provide the individual with guidance through interaction as a group.
Here lies a great resource when we decide to lean on each other.
I'll be the first to admit, I know I am far from perfect and efficient but I also have a hard time asking for any help, inside and outside of the kwoon.
I cut my resources and my potential in half by not stepping out of preconceived notion of myself as one who can handle it all.
Delegating to others, trusting others, accepting guidance and help from others is part of a balanced life.
We are social creatures, we can only excel and thrive when we trust in one another.

Trust is a precious commodity, sometimes given away too freely sometimes never given at all.
But thats another blog all together!

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada

8 weeks! Really!

Sifu Brinker gave us a reminder last night, we are running out of time. I have to admit the year has flown by and its hard to believe 2010 is only 8 weeks away.I will have to add up my numbers in my UBBT log and see where I am at.

Round numbers in my head at the moment are 46,000 push ups 40000 abs, 3/4 of the way for mileage and way down on the repetition for a form (just over 200), weight lifting is on par at 3 times a week,sparring and grappling is down as well, however, with the odd Wednesday night practices I feel there is a marked improvement.

I've kept a fairly accurate log for most of the year but there has been weeks where I did not fill it out until the weekend.

In the beginning, opening the log to add numbers was a driving factor, a huge motivator to accomplish something everyday. As the year went on, this gradually changed. Logging is not that important to me(however necessary as part of the UBBT and a useful tool to accomplish specific goals).
What has happened is an ingrained lifestyle change, I look for opportunities everyday to step out of the "norm" , commit acts of kindness, use 30 seconds of meditation to make calm decisions when panic and stress are pressuring down.
The day is not right if I cannot physically exert my self through some kind of training. No logging required, its who I've become.

Pretty cool...

but I have a little time left to crack down and finish big.




On a lighter note, today is Halloween, I can't help but be excited because my son is! He loves giving out the candy at the door almost as much as dressing up as a dinosaur and collecting his own candy.


Its just plain fun!

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada

Sparring

Last night I started thinking back when I first started sparring. I recall the panic stricken feeling in my stomach when the Sifu yelled "GEAR UP".

It took a while, probably around blue belt before I began to realize my approach to sparring was all wrong.

First, we spar to hone our skills in case self defense becomes an unfortunate but necessary issue. In order to have a chance at defending ourselves successfully we need to practice the possible scenarios that may befall us, when I recognized this , this is the time I changed my perspective on sparring and on my sparring partners.

The most important asset to our training is our peers and earning the trust of our peers. We accomplish this through communication both verbally and with body language. When you trust the person you spar with the doors will open wide up.

You become more relaxed or should I say focused on learning something new as opposed to just trying to get through the next 30 minutes of "free sparring". As a good chess player setting up for new strategies, this can only be accomplished through hours of practice with a variety of opponents.

So, talk to each other, let your partner know what level you are at and something you would like to work on during your time together. Leave your Ego at the door but bring some self-confidence. Be aware of your partners disposition, check in on them occasionally as you spar to make sure they are not becoming withdrawn by your possible over aggression.

The key, is to develop a pillar foundation of trust within your school and sparring mates. This is more self serving then one can realize as it only leads to improvement in your own quest to become the best martial artist that you can be.

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada

A Season of Giving

Last night I changed the oil and filter on my bike, cleaned it up and took the cover out for it. That really signified the beginning of winter for me.


Another good indicator of the changing of the seasons for me, is the fund raising that seems to kick into high gear.

Our neighborhood is extensively full of young families and with that comes the weekly door knock and ring. Work is also a large source for fund raising events and last but certainly not least is the Kwoon.

It would be easy to become annoyed and jaded by everyone looking for something off you but I think a person needs to keep their perspective in check.

Most of us are lucky enough to live in a comfortable lifestyle with extras on the side. we plan our personal goals to include things we want such as education, physical health, vacations, personal improvement and consumer goods. All this is generally done with an abstract or hardline budget in mind(time and money that is). This list should include giving back, both financially and of your own time, as applicable, as each of our own lives will allow.

I try to think ahead, plan for a certain amount of money each year and/or month that I will donate and to whom. A cross section of locally and globally. When I have reached my limit I graciously and politely let the other individuals fund raising know they are on my list but it will have to be next time.

Lastly, I budget my own time to volunteer. When I volunteer I treat it like a job that I am paid to do. Volunteer means you can keep a commitment and represent the activity with passion(conveniently this ties in with personal self-improvement).

So, yeah, I can't give to everything out there but I can give of myself to the best of my ability,... its a matter of commitment and forethought, kind of like everything else we strive to do in our lives to improve who we are and make a difference.



JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada

Mental Wellness

This does not run in line with mental awareness but it is just coincidence that the topic is on the table and I have a sideline story.

We went to visit some of my in-laws last weekend. My brother-in-law is usually a happy up beat fellow but for the past year and half he has been dealing with terrible stomach issues. After a battery of tests including ruling out cancer the doctor has been prescribing different medications over and over again.
In a nut shell, it has gone like this..."try this, it takes about six weeks for your body to adjust".
That didn't work so its a combination of some other drug with the same results.
When we were visiting he was on yet another type of drug but only 3 weeks into the dosage so no change yet, however, what has changed is the anti-depressants he is now on. Why??
Well, simply put, the mans spirit is dwindling away. He is tired of feeling sick all the time, tired of feeling like a human guinea pig and frustrated with the system. He has no lust for life right now and I can say he is a different man.
I am not a doctor but something seems wrong with this situation.
Why is the answer to bandaid the problem when to me the root cause is so obvious.
Is this just a prescriptive society . The answer is drugs, more drugs because we don't have the time to deal with the human being.
Perhaps with every diagnosis procedure it should be mandatory to include orientation to the medical system and counselling to assist people with stress brought on by health issues.

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada

Ottawa

Last weekend my husband and four year old son flew to Ottawa and I met them for a compact 2 day tourist adventure of the Capital of the country.(its Ottawa, not Toronto...right??:)

All in all it went well.

We started with a trip to the nature museum to fulfill our need to see Dinosaurs, spent the afternoon at Parliament Hill, an hour and half double decker bus tour which included a glimpse of Steve's place then swimming in the evening. The Sunday was spent at the Museum of Civilization(very interesting if you want to know about Canadian history and politics which I might add is not very old relatively speaking), then a drop off at the airport.

It was a jam packed visit but the weather was perfect and the highlight was actually Parliament Hill. I did not realize how big the grounds were. It is kind of cool to watch the public frolic on the democratic symbol of Canada. There was definite RCMP presence for security purposes, however, you were free to roam about , have wedding pictures taken or just play frisbee on the lawn. Symbolically it gave you a sense of democracy, freedom and peace which I think is important.

The visit to Parliament Hill was a way of putting a face to a name, if you will. I would call myself a novice when politics are concerned but this visit in conjunction with my new government position has sparked a new interest and a feeling of obligation to not only understand politics but be actively involved.

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada

Duty of Care

We had a lawyer from the Department of Justice put us through the paces this week. All in all it was actually quite interesting. He mostly spoke to us about duty of care in regards to Transport Canada and public safety regarding aviation. Good stuff!(really!)

Here's something I didn't know and was a little stunned to learn about.

As a general statement ...a person walking down the street who may see another injured or in distress is not compelled to a duty of care. Meaning you have no obligation to help someone. Funny thing is, I have seen it too often already when walking downtown.

The general rule is to step over the guy passed out on the sidewalk. Assuming that he is drunk and passed out, nobody seems to stop and make sure the guy isn't dead or near dead. I had too, just for peace of mind.

Anyways, the lawyer pointed out there is no duty of care in regard to one human being to another in a non relationship(professional or family).

Apparently some states and Quebec have a duty to rescue , specifically with children involved but as far as strangers mingling amongst each other in the city...no duty of care exists.

Its a glass half full or half empty the way I look at it. Perhaps we don't need to legislate goodwill to one another it will take care of itself...I hope.

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada