My Worst Nightmare

Sunday night I was riding bikes with my son when he got off his bike and said his tummy hurt.
6 hours later we were in an ambulance on the way to the Stollery in Edmonton. Turns out his appendix was about to rupture. Everything turned out OK, he is home now and he just has to recover.

Here is my nightmare. I am afraid of sick kids. I cant deal with it, it breaks my heart a thousand times over. I donate to the Stollery on regular basis but I cant bear to listen to the radiothons, the stories, and commercials let alone go there.

Little people should not suffer big people illness.

When the doctor at the Stony Plain Emergency said he was sending us to the Stollery, I felt a surge of panic and anxiety. How was I going to hold it together?
My son was looking at me , I looked back at him and told him everything was going to be alright, we were going to a hospital that knows how to take care of kids the best.
When he fell asleep, I buried my face and wept.

We were there for four days but it was the first 24 hours, I had to dig deeper that I ever have before. I knew my son would be alright but I had to be there for him as a source of safety and reassurance.
Walking the floors of the Stollery was incredible. Probably the toughest time for me was the common play area where many of the kids would gather in the afternoon.
I managed to deal with my sadness and anxiety and forced the best poker face I had for Raymond's sake but I cant help but think about the kids that we left behind there. I really hope for them.

This was truly a test in emotional control.

JC Masterson, Silent River Kung Fu, Alberta, Canada